Considering my meager prospects for literary fame, I figured I would do the next best thing--go to medical school. It's a logical choice given my ethnic background, but perhaps I'm being a little hasty. After all, do I really know what it takes to be a doctor?
Faced with such daunting questions, I decided to do some research in the form of easily-digestible bathroom reading. I chose to indulge in The House of God by Samuel Shem (really a pseudonym for Dr. Bergman of Harvard University). Many older practitioners decry it as disreputable slander about the medical profession--a modern-day pariah--but most young interns glorify in its cathartic release. How can one not? Here's a sampling of some of the laws of "The House of God:"
Law #1: Gomers don't die
Law #2: Gomers go to ground
Law #3: At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse
Law #4: The patient is the one with the disease
Law #5: Placement comes first (in a nursing home, that is)
Law #6: There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and a good strong arm.
Apart from colorful characters like The Fat Man and Chuck, the real clincher is that everything is apparently true. Based on a good number of Amazon.com readers, things haven't changed much since 1972. Suffice it to say that I laughed, I cried, and at the end, was left feeling a little anxious about the future. Why? Let me just leave you with an afterword by the author:
"I began writing The House of God for catharsis, to share with my buddies what had been the worst year of our lives. I realized that what I was describing was so awful that if anyone was to read it, it had to ride on humor."--Sam Shem
Where do I sign up?
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