Kirei Flight Attendants

My Japanese is really quite poor (ok, non-existent), so the above title is supposed to read: "Beautiful Flight Attendants." On my way to Tokyo and Shanghai, I had the rare opportunity to fly with ANA--All Nippon Airways--and true to the Japanese spirit, they provided kick-ass service. Not only does the airline staff bring you everything you could ever want, but they have to use Ms. Japan to do it. Seriously, I felt like I was entering a beauty pageant bereft of high heels and cute uniforms with complimentary scarves.

The practice of hiring attractive flight attendants is perhaps not much surprise to anyone who has flown on any airline that is not American. After all, the rest of the world hires people who are hotter than your grandma--Asia no less. So, one might wonder, why make special mention of it?

Because on this same flight was a gaggle of men part of a Formula One racing crew. Now, I'm sure you can guess what a recipe for success Testosterone-driven white men+pretty Asian women= ??? if you can't, well then, you're probably female or a gay man. In fact, these racing guys were so obviously sex-driven that even my mom's interest was piqued.

During dinner, one has the option of drinking any beverage--beer, wine, champagne--that one wishes, so naturally many people take advantage of the alcoholic option simply because it's free. I've never tested it myself, but I'm pretty sure you can have as many drinks as you want, and these F1 guys were certainly getting their money's worth. Sometime after the flight attendants came and cleared away our dinner trays, I settled down for a good movie and a short nap. My mom decided to use the restroom and 15 minutes later, she came back with an excited look on her face.

Mom: LAG, you have to go to the bathroom.
Me: Why? I don't need to.
Mom: You have to go. There are a group of drunk men clustered around the bathroom talking up the stewardesses [the kitchen was situated right next to the bathroom].
Me: Oh, haha. I'm not surprised. Men are men.
Mom: They're so hui-hui [translation: sleazy]. Go see! Go!
Me: Jeez! Fine, I'll go.

So I got up and made my way over to the drunken white guys trying to hit on sober Japanese flight attendants. I must've missed all the action because by the time I got there, most of the attendants were gone and the F1 guys were just talking amongst themselves. However, they were pretty buzzed and as I exited the bathroom, one of them gave me The Eye--most likely because he couldn't tell the difference between one Asian and another. I gave him the Evil Eye in return that he probably interpreted as being coy.

I'm not sure why my mom wanted me to see that other than to serve as a warning that men are obsessed with sex. It was a lesson largely lost on me because I already knew that. Nevertheless, I humored my mom by telling her "Yes! It's true! They are so hui-hui!" And that made her very happy.