Misgivings

It is not uncommon to feel anxiety when undertaking a huge task that involves a lot of time, effort, and money. Medical school is one of those things. People say that if you have not seriously considered quitting or choosing a different career, then you are probably crazy.

I think there is something to that.

There was an article in the NYT today entitled "Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent" about physicians growing more and more dissatisfied with their careers. In the past, autonomy and real patient care could sustain the brutal working hours demanded by the profession, but nowadays, decreasing insurance reimbursement, increasing legal liabilities, and general exhaustion are driving doctors toward different careers--or even worse, depression.

Stories like that worry me a lot. It isn't enough for admissions officers to make sure that their students have "outside interests" to relieve stress. Yes, everyone needs a hobby. No, people do not need to be run into the ground. Do you want your doctor running on 3 hours of sleep to be making critical decisions about your health? Not reading your complete chart because it takes too much time and they only get paid based on volume?

I can see the rationale in overworking doctors. It's what the system has become. We're long past the days when you visited one primary care physician throughout your life. Now we have an arsenal of specialists with their newfangled instruments designed to milk insurance companies for all they're worth. After all, an MRI scan is more easily justifiable than "talking to patient about weight-loss strategies." It's always boggled me that lawyers can be paid to talk--even pick up the phone--while doctors don't. Both dispense advice, so why the discrepancy?

But of course, there is little sympathy to be had. Doctors, after all, make an amazing salary. Is it all that amazing though, to go through nearly 11 years of training (including undergrad classes and MCATs) and brutal residency to make some money to pay off $200,000-300,000 worth of loans? Most corporation CEOs do less than that and make a heck of a lot more. I consider the compensation just dues for such a difficult task. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Or maybe I shouldn't do this at all. I like being able to take a ride along the Potomac River after work, meet up with friends, relax, have fun. I wonder if giving all of that up makes me crazy. When once I joked around about being a masochist, now I wonder if I really am.